Things That Used to Gross Me Out Before Motherhood

Before I became a mother to my beautiful daughter, Acacia, I used to get grossed out by fairly normal things.  For instance, poop and boogers.  Here's some examples of what has changed:

1.  The other day I noticed I had baby poop on my finger....and didn't really care all that much.

2.  I routinely pick boogers out of my daughter's nose.

To those who aren't parents, these things probably seem EXTREMELY disgusting.  Am I right?  I probably would have been horrified before I had my daughter had I found poop, let alone SOMEONE ELSE'S poop, on my finger.  It's like becoming a mom has made me numb to anything gross my kid does.  

3. I get barfed on routinely.  It's something that has been happening at least one time per day for the past 6 months. I hardly even flinch.  It is even more disgusting now that my daughter started eating more than breastmilk, and I don't even care.  I'll walk out of my house with baby barf on my shirt without even thinking twice about it.  

4. Sometimes my kids feet smell b/c she sweats in her sleep.  I still kiss them.  Yes, I KISS FEET!  Though, I better make myself clear, I only kiss baby feet.

5.  I wipe someone else's ass several times a day.  I don't think I need to explain that one.

6.  I routinely have another human being's slobber on my face.  I actually get my face sucked on by an infant.  I usually have baby drool on my face, or hands, at any given point during the day.  Sometimes, it's not even my own baby's, but the baby I take care of's too.

But, one thing I have noticed about motherhood, only my own baby can do these disgusting things without me flinching.  Any other baby in the world doing this to me, would probably gross me out.  Motherhood is pretty awesome.

Pepper Beards

One night I fell asleep while randomly watching "Singing in the Rain" on television.  That night I had one of the strangest dreams I have ever had.  It started with me and the lead character in the movie:

We were hanging out together along a desolate stretch of forest road, both of us on our knees facing each other with a rock in between us. Apparently, we were having a pepper beard competition.  We started rubbing our faces on the pavement in order to pick up pepper from the road to make a beard on our faces, which we were then using to attract the rock to.  Who ever attracted the rock first was the winner.  It was a fierce competition, and I don't remember who won :(

Yup.

  

I guess I should introduce myself, huh?

My name is Alexis, but I have always gone by many names: Lex, Lexi, Allie, Alliecat, Lexington, Lex Luthor....and the list goes on.  But, my personal favorite has always been Alliecat, probably b/c I am such a cat person.  I have an infant daughter named Acacia and two cats named Munchkin and Monkey, or rather, Mr. Monkey Momerath.

(Monkey and Acacia)

I decided I'd start this blog in order to tell the silly stories of my day to day life, vent out my random frustrations with said "day to day life," talk about my incredibly strange dreams, and whatever else comes to my mind. 

For instance, lately there has been something I have been obsessively thinking about.  Whenever I flip through the channels on television, I am confronted with a barrage of images of superfluous and selfish spending by affluent people in this country.  Now, I have nothing against anyone with money, but I do have something against people who have and it and only use it for their own selfish indulgences, and then complain about the government taxing them and taking money away from them in order to flush it back into our country's social programs.  Hey, maybe some of you might think I sound like a damn socialist, but I don't care.  There are so many homeless women and children on the street, and homeless animals on the street too, and I don't care how they got there, they need help.  Why does someone need a $250,000.00 car?  To show how big their penis is?  To show how fake their boobs are now?   It just drives me crazy.  Why does their karma award them with money to selfishly squander?  Maybe this is all coming from my non materialistic standpoint.

Even if I were a billionaire, I'd still shop at thrift stores.  You'd never see me wasting money on a $5000.00 dress.  All of that is pointless to me.  I'd still drive a sensible car and live in a normal-sized house.  Most of my money would go to helping those in need, not wasted on my own selfish devices.  

And yes, there was an example of one of my random vents.  Thanks for reading :P